BARBIE SCHMARBIE

When I was a kid I had one Barbie and that was enough. She lived in her "brief case" with a few clothes, shoes and a hair brush. I never played with her very much because I had gerbils. I'm sorry but there is no comparison between Barbie and a warm little furry pet if you ask me. I loved my gerbils. I started out with one then my friend gave me one for my birthday, she assured me that the pet store owner checked the gender and it was a male like my other one. WRONG!! Not too much time passed when I discovered to my shock and horror that there were babies in a little crib of tissue. I couldn't breathe I was so excited even though I knew my mom wouldn't like it, not one bit. My mom made me go to church that same night and all I could think about was those sweet little crazy looking balls of pink flesh. It was pure torture being away from them. Over the next few weeks I added on some rooms to the compound I had built my gerbils out of toilet paper rolls, paper towel rolls and shoe boxes. It was a veritable Taj Mahal. Then came the day when my gerbils taught me that they can be disgusting cannibalistic creatures. Yes, they ate their babies. Not all of them but one is enough. I felt my world come crashing down around me, my sweet cuddly little friends were were now mere rodents to me. I, unlike my gerbils, have a heart and continued to take care of them until it was their time to go to that great treadmill in the sky. The last two died at the same time of what I do not know but I found a shoe box and carefully placed them on some crumpled up tissue and dug a hole in the back yard. Unbeknownst to me the irrigation came the next day and when I came home from school I ran into the back yard to where I had burried my old friends and sure enough there they were floating in the water amongst the leaves and grass. I learned that you need to dig deeper if you want your beloved pets to rest in peace.

But anyway back to Barbie. Can you believe this is a real Barbie house designed by Jonathon Alder? Do you see the Andy Warhol painting on the wall THAT'S REAL TOO!!! What in the world is going on here!!! Sorry Barbie I'd rather have cannibalistic rodents any day.